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went orchard with hm ytd in search of Des bday pressie..
but haha.. as usual miss spendthrift is too picky..
bought nth..
today must realli buy sth liao lo.. if nt hmm..
haha..
had a long nice chat with hm ytd..
then i realise that..
it was shocking to nOe that i hav been putting barrier in our rs instead of des.
i keep thinking prob lies with des..
but it was actualli me..
i keep thinkin about past memories..
sinking into the past..
why am i thinkin back??
HM ask me a good quest..
is des jus a fling for my lonely life?
am i deciving myself as well as others when i keep thinkin that i lyk des a lot..
but the actual fact is.. he is the guy which i wan in life..
but my feeling for him is not there!
how..
keep thinking abt past..
haiz...
i nOe its not healthy for my rs with des...
but..
i am trying very hard to keep this rs going..
realli..
des is sinking into it deeper each day too..
='(
Sorry....